VERY FUNNY little thinkers

kornholio788 · Post by **kornholio788** » Wed May 02, 2007 2:03 pm

Let's see what you've got on these...

Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about ...

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Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. .. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

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If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

ITs all funny becuse its true lol

azianmopar05 · Post by **azianmopar05** » Wed May 02, 2007 2:19 pm

thats like if you have two diffrent personalitys and you commit sucided does that mean your a murder?.ha

hansken_yo · Post by **hansken_yo** » Wed May 02, 2007 6:48 pm

why do they call them apartments when they are all crammed together?

Chibits12 · Post by **Chibits12** » Wed May 02, 2007 8:22 pm

Why is the sky blue when it really isn't?

TNK · Post by **TNK** » Wed May 02, 2007 10:08 pm

kornholio788 wrote: Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

________________________________

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

________________________________

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

holy shit, i never noticed that the ABC song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star DO have the same tune...

and that asteroid one made me laugh my ass off.

fearingdark · Post by **fearingdark** » Wed May 02, 2007 10:25 pm

why do you park in a driveway and drive on the parkway?

when a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?

if a parsley farmer gets sued, do they garnish his wages?

TNK · Post by **TNK** » Wed May 02, 2007 10:25 pm

03blackrt · Post by **03blackrt** » Wed May 02, 2007 11:42 pm

Do Vegetarians eat animal crackers?

TNK · Post by **TNK** » Wed May 02, 2007 11:50 pm

Chibits12 · Post by **Chibits12** » Wed May 02, 2007 11:53 pm

This thread is like those Chuck Norris quotes:

Chuck Norris sleeps with the lights not because he's afraid of the dark; it's because the darkness is scared of Chuck Norris.

TNK · Post by **TNK** » Wed May 02, 2007 11:55 pm

03blackrt · Post by **03blackrt** » Thu May 03, 2007 12:02 am

Chuck Norris beat up MacGyver using only a paper clip, a rubber band,
and a pinecone.

In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris is still Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

One drop of Chuck Norris' sweat can cure you of anything, even death.

Chuck Norris goes to the toilet once a month, if he needs to or not.

The letters in Chuck Norris' name can be rearranged to spell doom in
twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Chuck Norris has never been sick. Ever.

Chuck Norris can cut onions without crying.

Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.

There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only
Chuck Norris knows what the extra 5 letters are.

Chuck Norris is the only person ever capable of telling if an aircraft
landed in soil by tasting it.

Chuck Norris's heart beats once every full moon.

Occasionally Chuck Norris will call up the Power Rangers just to say hi.

Chuck Norris signed the Declaration Of Independance, The Bill Of
Rights, and the Constitution while plundering a poor asian village.

fearingdark · Post by **fearingdark** » Thu May 03, 2007 12:09 am

Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?

If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?

Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?

Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?

Is an alcoholic just a drunk that's scared of a hangover?

Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

can you decide to be indecisive?

TNK · Post by **TNK** » Thu May 03, 2007 12:11 am

omfg.

fearingdark · Post by **fearingdark** » Thu May 03, 2007 12:14 am

tnk's just sitting on this topic waiting for more....

TNK · Post by **TNK** » Thu May 03, 2007 12:15 am

pretty much.

fearingdark · Post by **fearingdark** » Thu May 03, 2007 12:16 am

crazythought.com

shit...didn't work...just copy and paste

03blackrt · Post by **03blackrt** » Thu May 03, 2007 12:16 am

Chuck Norris has no concept of time, if you go to his house you won't
find a single clock. When you ask to leave because it's getting late
he stares at you blankly until you sit back down.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris once ate a banana without having to peel it.

If Chuck Norris had a dollar and you had a dollar, Chuck would kick
your ass and take your dollar.

Chuck Norris once fought off 42 ninjas bilndfolded, while having sex
with 3 women.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck
said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He
came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and
when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came
with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he
gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck
Norris."

We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake
before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris' house is a Total Gym.

Ecstacy is actually made by extracting the special seratonin mixture
found only the skull of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris put the 'k' in 'hardkore.'

Chuck Norris volunteers at retirement homes just so he can push old
people in wheelchairs onto the freeway.

In a recent interview, Chuck Norris told Entertainment Tonight co-host
Mary Hart that his most memorable role was when he played the third
breast on the hooker in "Total Recall".

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands

heyitsstock · Post by **heyitsstock** » Thu May 03, 2007 12:48 am

why do they have brail on the drive up atms

01WhiteNe0n · Post by **01WhiteNe0n** » Thu May 03, 2007 1:01 am

I love these

OB · Post by OB » Thu May 03, 2007 1:08 am

rofl

I love these. some of em were dumb but they were mostly true

SILVER-ES · Post by **SILVER-ES** » Thu May 03, 2007 1:11 am

Chuck norris for the muther smurfin loose.

KrackstaR · Post by **KrackstaR** » Thu May 03, 2007 9:54 am

LOL @chuck norris eating the turkey......thats too funny

OverDrive418 · Post by **OverDrive418** » Thu May 03, 2007 10:09 am

How do blind people know when they're done wiping thier butt?

WykedHellFire · Post by **WykedHellFire** » Thu May 03, 2007 10:15 am

OverDrive418 wrote:How do blind people know when they're done wiping thier butt?

the texture...

OverDrive418 · Post by **OverDrive418** » Thu May 03, 2007 10:39 am

^ Now why did I think you'd have the answer?!

TNK · Post by **TNK** » Thu May 03, 2007 11:07 am

WykedHellFire wrote:
OverDrive418 wrote:How do blind people know when they're done wiping thier butt?
the texture...

and good god those churck norris ones are good!

03sxt · Post by **03sxt** » Thu May 03, 2007 9:51 pm

All are good, but the Chuck Norris ones. I'm with Chris. For the mother smurfin' lose.

kc2005ptgt · Post by **kc2005ptgt** » Fri May 04, 2007 12:59 pm

TNK wrote:
kornholio788 wrote: Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

________________________________

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

________________________________

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
holy smeg, i never noticed that the ABC song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star DO have the same tune...

and that asteroid one made me laugh my ass off.

Did you know that the original song was called "Ah! vous dirai-je, Maman", a french melody and Mozart wrote 12 variations on it called "Variations on 'Ah! vous..."

Did you know that "Baa baa black sheep" shares the same tune? Did you also know that the words to "twinkle twinkle..." is actually an english folk poem, written by Jane Taylor in 1806.

SILVER-ES · Post by **SILVER-ES** » Fri May 04, 2007 2:12 pm

03sxt wrote:

All are good, but the Chuck Norris ones. I'm with Chris. For the mother smurfin' lose.

Thank you, I thought I was the only one!

2GN.ORG

VERY FUNNY little thinkers

VERY FUNNY little thinkers

Re: VERY FUNNY little thinkers

Re: VERY FUNNY little thinkers