Random's Joke thread

Pretty much what the title says, all off-topic related posts can be posted here to share with everyone.
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TheRandom1
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Random's Joke thread

Post by TheRandom1 » Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:29 am

A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money. Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'


The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.' The robber then shot him in the temple,killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man,

'Did you see me rob this bank?'

The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't, but my wife did.'
Last edited by TheRandom1 on Wed Feb 04, 2009 11:59 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

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Drunk joke

Post by TheRandom1 » Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:30 am

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.
A cop on the beat sees him and approaches,

'Can I help you Sir?'

'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the man replies.

The cop asks, 'Where was your car the last time you saw it?'

'It wasss on the end of thisshh key', the man replies.

About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.

He asks the man, 'Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?'

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and wit hout missing a beat, blurts out....

'Holy shit! My girlfriend's gone, too!!
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

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Blonde in the snow joke

Post by TheRandom1 » Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:32 am

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility
was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made
her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She
sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She
finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in
a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow
it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. This made her
feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went
by and she started to follow it.

As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they
continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard
conditions. After an hour and many, many turns had passed, she was
somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came
back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver
wanted to know ifshe was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She
said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow
plow when caught in a blizzard. The driver replied that it was ok with
him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Walmart
parking lot and was going over to Sears next.
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

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Post by GreeNeons03 » Tue Jan 06, 2009 12:37 pm

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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Post by farmboy » Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:26 pm

good one. very funny

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Post by hul kogan » Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:54 pm

lolz.
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Post by Sykora » Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:59 pm

I was thinking Zamboni :)
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Post by J-Villa » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:15 pm

ha ha.
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Post by J-Villa » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:17 pm

haha that's funny.
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Post by J-Villa » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:20 pm

GreeNeons03 wrote::rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:lol:
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Post by NickKo » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:32 pm

Hey, I laughed too :lol:

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Post by Fuzzyneon » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:27 pm

Lol thats good
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Post by Fuzzyneon » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:27 pm

Lol nice just made my boring work day better
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Post by TheRandom1 » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:27 pm

Glad I could help!
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

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Post by Fuzzyneon » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:28 pm

rofl nice
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Post by Kelevra » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:33 pm

I saw it coming when they mentioned following a snow plow.. still funny

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Post by Danteneon » Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:25 pm

Good jokes, but the new merge topic title is even better :rofl:
If I could just figure out how to meld the Outback and the Neon into one car...

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Post by racer12306 » Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:28 pm

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

funnier than the jokes
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Post by TheRandom1 » Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:36 pm

Uh, B0ob1e B0I these were all seperate topics and should have stayed that way! :lol:
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

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Post by Canada » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:03 pm

I know, but its much more fun playing around with you.

Three jokes, three topics?

I <3 joo muffin :rofl:

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Post by Danteneon » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:15 pm

You're right, this is more fun :rofl:
If I could just figure out how to meld the Outback and the Neon into one car...

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Post by Canada » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:20 pm

HHAHAHHAHAHA Priceless. :rofl:

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Post by TheRandom1 » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:25 pm

Damn mods messing with things! I'm telling Jason! :lol:
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

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Post by GreeNeons03 » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:29 pm

Oh sure, go cry to the Admin. It's all fun and games until someone gets banned. :rofl:
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LilSparkPlug wrote:Polish her....females like that better than slathering! Yeah...I went there.
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Post by TheRandom1 » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:42 pm

Not my fault boobie wants to be American cuz Canada sucks! :rofl:
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

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Post by MyNeonSaysHi » Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:07 pm

:lol:

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Post by racer12306 » Wed Jan 07, 2009 7:18 am

It would be even funner if I were to merge this into a thread that is already a few pages long, but everyone seems to forget about.
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Post by TheRandom1 » Wed Jan 07, 2009 8:17 am

Like the Lost of the SRT thread? :rofl:
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

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Post by racer12306 » Wed Jan 07, 2009 8:23 am

Nah, that thread doesn't need any help. Besides, I said a thread with a few pages, not a shit ton of pages.

There is actually a joke thread.
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Post by TheRandom1 » Wed Jan 07, 2009 8:42 am

Orly? Yeah, let's not do that.
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

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