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i found this on a local forum and though it was funny as hell

Post results...

Me:Sup wit it girl
Her:Hey haven't heard from you in hella long
Me:I know right, been hella long a can i ask you a question though
Her:Uhh okay what's up?
Me:Can i tap that ass
Her:The fuck?
Me:Is there a problem?
Her:Uhhh yea i haven't spoke to you in hella long and you ask me if we can fuck?
Me:Nah nah i said tap that ass
Her:There isn't a difference and i don't get down like that
Me:So how you want it then
Her:Im gonna forward this to my bf
Me:Whoa whoa i don't do 3sums wit another dude only two females
Her:Really now
Me:Yea so how you want it on your back or face in the pillow

She hasn't texted back...

next

me: hey
her: heyy
me: whats up
her: nothing about to go to cold stone with my sis
me: word, i gotta question
her: alright what?
me: when you gonna let me tap that?
her: haha. not any time soon
me: why not baby girl?
her: cuz i got me a boo
me: it dont matter about that, its just about me you and one night of fun. that not difficult
her: yea it is lol
me: hows it difficult? jus forget about your boo. bring your sister along too

Next

me:Hey can I ask you a question?
her:yes
me: When you gonna let me tap that?
her:haha OHHHHHH idk about that one
me:come on...I'll knock your walls down and take you back to the stone age.
her: haha oh jeez
me: Im a busy man, I need answers
Her: im gonna have to go with no, I dont think our significant others would like that
me: I dont care what ***** or ***** thinks, Its just about me and you and one night of fun. Thats not to difficult
Her: Hmm I'm still gonna go with a no.

Next

me:aye when you gonna let me tap dat
her:what the hell?
me:i need an answer
her:im confused
me:confused? when you gonna let me tap dat
her:um why are you bein an ass
me:im not im just askin a question
her:well its a rude one...
me: ok
her:and u havent talked to me in months so yea..
me:fine

Next

Me: AY girl, when you gonna let me tap that?
Her: Its 3 in the afternoon, you drunk?
Me: time is of the essence.
Her: your dating my friend no
Me: so?
Her: NO.

And we got a mothafuckin winner!!!

me: hey quick question. Would you mind if I tapped that?
her: lol what! Who is this!
me: It's Mike. And I am a busy man. I need an answer.
her: Mike?
me: Yeah Mike.
her: Mike D G or H
me: D
her: oh lol well... God only knows how bad I need a good fuck and you're cute enough I guess so why not
me: cute enough? what is that shit?!?
her: You had a fade last time I saw you and I liked it with waves
me: which it always has been just faded sometimes and if i grow it out waves
her: Waves was my fav
me:well it's back to waves
her: sounds good
me: good deal. so back to the matter at hand. When can I tap that.
her: you in town now?
me:yep
her: one thing though....
me:yessum
her: well this sounds dumb but you'd have to pretend you love me so I don't feel like such a whore.
me: that doesn't sound too hard
me: although it's a semi unusual request.
her: good cuz honestly im not gonna lie. I had plans with this one guy but he likes to stick it in my ass and I don't feel like dealing with that tonight.
me: Dayum in that sweet ass?
her: haha lol well uh thanks there is one more thing
me: go on.....
her: you can't tell anyone
me: I didn't plan on it. That would be weird.
her: why weird? no I just don't want my boyfriend to find out.
me: I shouldn't say weird. We just know a lot of the same people. But that is also a good reason
her: lol yeppers
me: so where do you want to do this
her: the only place I can think of is my car
me: works for me
her: you any good?
me: well I've never done it in a car, but I know my way around

sluts, gotta love em

neonpla wrote:sluts, gotta love em

This.

5% tint has saved my life SO many times

lol...this is an interesting concept

yea... i did that about a month ago, most took the joke in stride.

one blew up and told me i don't respect her as a person, and i need to never text her again.

stuck up bitch.

**glad that he is too old to have to deal with stuff like this**

haha u win

i really liked the bring your sister along one haha

Thinking and reading about it doesn't even get me worked up.

Midnight_Rider wrote:**glad that he is too old to have to deal with stuff like this**

Shit like this is fun

you start with the first choice and work your way down someone will eventually fuck you

my first one:

me: when can i tap dat?
her: haha asap

When I used to do telecom work on the road in all the glorious towns in the US one of the guys in my crew had a straight forward pick up line at the bars we frequented, he would walk up to a woman that has caught his eye and say, "Do you want to go back to my room and fuck?" He would get slapped 9 times out of 10 but he always found that 1 out of 10 that found his "honesty" refreshing.

^^ I guess it's a numbers game lol

HAhhaHAhahHA back in HS me and my best friend would get stoned and do this.
It's quite funny to be honest and YEA, You get some YES from some of them girls.

Good times.

yeah my bud walks up to chicks and just stares at them then pulls out the " so we gone fuck or what " haha first time i witnessed it i laughed till i pissed my self haha

Jes, that is just too funny!


I'll have to try this with the wife - maybe that 10% chance will smile on me, too

Maddog wrote:Jes, that is just too funny!


I'll have to try this with the wife - maybe that 10% chance will smile on me, too

haha best of luck to you sir haha

Maddog wrote:Jes, that is just too funny!


I'll have to try this with the wife - maybe that 10% chance will smile on me, too

I think marriage diminishes those chances tenfold...so you need to be in the 1%

LilSparkPlug wrote:

Maddog wrote:Jes, that is just too funny!


I'll have to try this with the wife - maybe that 10% chance will smile on me, too

I think marriage diminishes those chances tenfold...so you need to be in the 1%

That means Maddog has to do this 100 times before the odds are in his favor.

haha marriage ftl

jrumann59 wrote:

LilSparkPlug wrote:

Maddog wrote:Jes, that is just too funny!


I'll have to try this with the wife - maybe that 10% chance will smile on me, too

I think marriage diminishes those chances tenfold...so you need to be in the 1%

That means Maddog has to do this 100 times before the odds are in his favor.

Your calculations are correct - 1 down, 98 to go...

You guys suck at math... lol

We can't ALL be mathologists!

Hahaha, I just tried it with one of my friends:

Me: When can I tap dat?
Her: I'm out front

lmao

I'm preeeeetty sure all my friends would just stop talking to me. No one takes a joke anymore.

Hell, all the "girls" I know that are in my age group probably wouldn't even know what "tap dat" means...lol

And all the actual young girls (18-30) I know would just think I'm even more of an old pervert than before!

Me: How are things?
Her: Good you
Me: Fine. I have a question for you...
Her: ?
Me: When can I tap that?
Her: Huh?
Her: Oh. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that
Me: Because Id like to tap that I thought it was fairly self explanaitory
Her: You're an ass.
Her: When you come visit
Me: Really?
Her: No
Me: Fuck
Her: haha

bone-yard-racing wrote:Me: How are things?
Her: Good you
Me: Fine. I have a question for you...
Her: ?
Me: When can I tap that?
Her: Huh?
Her: Oh. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that
Me: Because Id like to tap that I thought it was fairly self explanaitory
Her: You're an ass.
Her: When you come visit
Me: Really?
Her: No
Me: Fuck
Her: haha

take one for the team blair

That first thread spread proves that persistence can get almost anything!

Also I did this and got:

Me: Can I ask you a question?
Him: -.- of course
Me: When are you gonna let me tap that?
Him: LOLOL !!!

I'm sitting here thinking, does this mean no?