Ask Dante.

Pretty much what the title says, all off-topic related posts can be posted here to share with everyone.
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Danteneon
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Ask Dante.

Post by Danteneon » Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:11 pm

I got to thinking (dangerous, I know). The thing is, there are really no new problems or questions to be found about the Neon. It's time for something new.

Give me a problem your Neon is having, or a question about your Neon that hasn't been asked before. You will need to be creative (and yes, made up questions are what I'm looking for). I will then post my answer. It will be just as creative and made up. Probably snarky too. I will check this thread as often as work will allow, so if they pile up I will answer in bulk.

Do me proud folks :D

*Edit* When I do not know the sex of your Neon, I will use the term "it". This is not a slight against your car, only that I don't want to offend your Neon by calling it what it isn't.
Last edited by Danteneon on Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:45 pm, edited 4 times in total.
If I could just figure out how to meld the Outback and the Neon into one car...

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Kelevra
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Post by Kelevra » Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:36 pm

If one person thinking (you) is dangerous.. Are you trying to kill us all getting everyone on the forums to think as well?

You, Sir, are a madman

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Canada
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Post by Canada » Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:38 pm

Why does every Neon (2GN) I have ever seen either have paint rub through along the top inside of the doors or along the sill from the bottom of the doors rubbing it?

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Danteneon
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Post by Danteneon » Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:40 pm

Kelevra wrote:If one person thinking (you) is dangerous.. Are you trying to kill us all getting everyone on the forums to think as well?

You, Sir, are a madman
It could be the end of the forum, yes. But it is a chance I'm willing to take.

And to answer your question in a Neon related manner...your Neon wants you to think more. That's why it is unhappy with you.

Canada wrote:Why does every Neon (2GN) I have ever seen either have paint rub through along the top inside of the doors or along the sill from the bottom of the doors rubbing it?
That is because the superior seals Neons have on the doors are too good. Once you induce the blazing speeds our cars are know for, combined with the extreme pressure applied to the doors from wind drag, worn paint is the natural by-product.

*That is an accurate answer...without the exageration. Body flex does the rubbing.*
If I could just figure out how to meld the Outback and the Neon into one car...

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Danteneon
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Post by Danteneon » Wed Mar 16, 2011 6:01 pm

Edited the first post.

These don't have to be real questions. It will be more fun if they aren't. (Extra points to Canada for asking a new real question though!)
If I could just figure out how to meld the Outback and the Neon into one car...

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JeffM
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Post by JeffM » Wed Mar 16, 2011 6:11 pm

Why is my neon so damn slow?!
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ianguilly
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Post by ianguilly » Wed Mar 16, 2011 6:23 pm

How can I get my 2.4 SOHC turbo to work?
-Neon #3 1999 Neon R/T coupe,DOHC MTX
-Neon #4 1998 Neon Alpine green coupe SOHC MTX -daily shit box

Official "I'm gonna drive my Neon until it dies" Club Member #110

Kelevra
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Post by Kelevra » Wed Mar 16, 2011 6:56 pm

Danteneon wrote:
Kelevra wrote:If one person thinking (you) is dangerous.. Are you trying to kill us all getting everyone on the forums to think as well?

You, Sir, are a madman
It could be the end of the forum, yes. But it is a chance I'm willing to take.

And to answer your question in a Neon related manner...your Neon wants you to think more. That's why it is unhappy with you.

I think plenty when I'm in my neon. it's my escape to think!

My neon is unhappy for other reasons - mainly cosmetic

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TheRandom1
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Post by TheRandom1 » Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:20 pm

Why doesn't my Neon make my penis grow?
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

Kelevra
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Post by Kelevra » Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:26 pm

TheRandom1 wrote:Why doesn't my Neon make my penis grow?
For some reason.. I want to see what dante comes up with for this :rofl:

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TheRandom1
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Post by TheRandom1 » Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:27 pm

Oh, I'm sure it'll be a...stimulating answer.
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Danteneon wrote:You doing this swap with your tech level is like asking a squirrel to land a 747.

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Johny
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Post by Johny » Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:47 pm

TheRandom1 wrote:Why doesn't my Neon make my penis grow?
:rofl: that is all
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www.JohnyR.net - Web development

Jenni
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Post by Jenni » Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:56 pm

why does my neon come with tissue holder - but i can nowhere find tissues in that size???

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JeffM
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Post by JeffM » Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:58 pm

Jenni wrote:why does my neon come with tissue holder - but i can nowhere find tissues in that size???
You guys don't have travel packs?
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bmohr225
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Post by bmohr225 » Wed Mar 16, 2011 8:17 pm

Jenni wrote:why does my neon come with tissue holder - but i can nowhere find tissues in that size???
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superdan
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Post by superdan » Wed Mar 16, 2011 8:38 pm

Why do raccoons stop in the middle of the road so you can hit them and demolish your front bumper and radiator?
03' Dodge Neon...SRT-4 swap
04' Dodge Dakota SLT 4x4

Kelevra
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Post by Kelevra » Wed Mar 16, 2011 8:39 pm

superdan wrote:Why do raccoons stop in the middle of the road so you can hit them and demolish your front bumper and radiator?
This! RIP my mopar front lip

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Post by Trappy » Wed Mar 16, 2011 8:40 pm

When will my Neon grow a penis or a manual transmission?

Can it teach me how to Dougie?

How can I get it to help me make macaroni sculptures of Whoopi Goldberg?
-Ty

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Official "I'm Going to Drive My Neon till it Dies" Club #95

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Haganracing
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Post by Haganracing » Wed Mar 16, 2011 8:43 pm

Why does 2gn.org get so slow around 2am??
occasional demons wrote:So maybe a FuzzyDanteHagan sammich might just beat a FuzzyHagan. :-k
Danteneon wrote:My advice is to fight those urges and enjoy the fact that you have both X and Y chromosomes. And an SRT. And your hand. You don't need a girl.

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UriahRR
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Post by UriahRR » Wed Mar 16, 2011 8:44 pm

Why do so many fags make their stock Neons look like SRT-4's?
... oh wait...


Also, the penis growing thing?
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DOSneons
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Post by DOSneons » Wed Mar 16, 2011 8:56 pm

why are my wheels molding? i wash and wash and the green wont come off...
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INVUJerry
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Post by INVUJerry » Wed Mar 16, 2011 8:58 pm

I have 2 neons that supposedly came equipped with a flux capacitor according to the vin code (s22y). Where is the flux capacitor located if my neon is so equipped with one?
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So many neons so little time.

bmohr225
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Post by bmohr225 » Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:04 pm

Why is it that I no longer own a Neon but I still scan this site three to four times a day...?

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iThane
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Post by iThane » Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:23 pm

how come the man who sold me my neon said he fit mercedes parts into the engine, though everything looks stock?

why does my neon make sounds other cars dont usually make?
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occasional demons
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Post by occasional demons » Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:46 pm

iThane wrote:
why does my neon make sounds other cars dont usually make?
It has the Benz.





:shock:




Oh wait, I'm not supposed to answer the questions. :aargh: Nooooooooooooooooo, I'm melting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:aargh: :aargh: :aargh: :violent2:

Dammit Man!Dammit Man!Dammit Man!Dammit Man!
Bill
Probably shouldn't listen to anything your penis says, that guy's a dick.
Patience, of course, is a very powerful weapon, but sometimes I start to regret that it is not a firearm.
Too much time spent here is a sign of a bad case of Ownaneonvirus.

2000 Neon MTX swap with '02 R/T PCM
1999 neon coupe 2.4 swap

Dammit Man!
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Post by Dammit Man! » Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:50 pm

So now we know what happens when you answer the questions. :shock:

Call me an asshat. :twisted:

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Danteneon
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Post by Danteneon » Thu Mar 17, 2011 7:50 am

JeffM wrote:Why is my neon so damn slow?!
It thinks that you still have ghey feelings for Audis. Fully embrace the Neon and it will reward you fully.
ianguilly wrote:How can I get my 2.4 SOHC turbo to work?
When I figure it out, so will you.
TheRandom1 wrote:Why doesn't my Neon make my penis grow?
It does, but for some reason you don't notice it :-k
Jenni wrote:why does my neon come with tissue holder - but i can nowhere find tissues in that size???
You live in the wrong country.
superdan wrote:Why do raccoons stop in the middle of the road so you can hit them and demolish your front bumper and radiator?
They are jealous that they can't drive Neons.
Trappy wrote:When will my Neon grow a penis or a manual transmission?

Both answers revolve around your ability to stimulate the car properly with the cunning use of tools and skill.

Can it teach me how to Dougie?

It would, but it is trying to save you from yourself.

How can I get it to help me make macaroni sculptures of Whoopi Goldberg?

See above.
Haganracing wrote:Why does 2gn.org get so slow around 2am??
You have Comcast. Sorry.
UriahRR wrote:Why do so many fags make their stock Neons look like SRT-4's?
... oh wait...


Also, the penis growing thing?
Hey, I'm answering the questions here! It's no fun if you answer them yourself.
DOSneons wrote:why are my wheels molding? i wash and wash and the green wont come off...
It's not mold. Your car is turning green with envy of the other Neons that have more wheel width.
INVUJerry wrote:I have 2 neons that supposedly came equipped with a flux capacitor according to the vin code (s22y). Where is the flux capacitor located if my neon is so equipped with one?
Chrysler has kept this information from the public to prevent consumers from using the flux capacitors for evil gains. If you cut a 24" line in the bottom of your gas tank and peel it apart like an orange, you will find it.
bmohr225 wrote:Why is it that I no longer own a Neon but I still scan this site three to four times a day...?
The Neon is using this site to lure you back to the awesomness that is the Neon. Or we are just awesome. Or you have no life. Pick one.
iThane wrote:how come the man who sold me my neon said he fit mercedes parts into the engine, though everything looks stock?

He did this through the cunning use of hammers.

why does my neon make sounds other cars dont usually make?

See above.
Dammit Man! wrote:Call me an asshat. :twisted:
It isn't a question, but OK. You're an asshat.
If I could just figure out how to meld the Outback and the Neon into one car...

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r/tguy02
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Post by r/tguy02 » Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:08 am

why is it that every time i fix something on my 1gn i find something else that is broken or not working right?
Justin
[02 R/T sold][00 Highline sold][04 r/t scrapped][95 NYG Sport coupe][01 r/t DD]
http://www.cardomain.com/ride/2931823

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Danteneon
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Post by Danteneon » Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:16 am

r/tguy02 wrote:why is it that every time i fix something on my 1gn i find something else that is broken or not working right?
Your car was born in the sign of Leo. Cars born under this sign can be very vain and want everything on them to be perfect. Keep fixing things until everything is perfect and all will be well.
If I could just figure out how to meld the Outback and the Neon into one car...

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occasional demons
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Post by occasional demons » Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:29 am

Danteneon wrote:If you cut a 24" line in the bottom of your gas tank and peel it apart like an orange, you will find it.


I lol'ed.

Edit:
occasional demons wrote:"DM" says AIM doesn't count. He is such an asshat. :slap:
Danteneon wrote:
Dammit Man! wrote:Call me an asshat. :twisted:
It isn't a question, but OK. You're an asshat.
Two against one! :nana:
Last edited by occasional demons on Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
Bill
Probably shouldn't listen to anything your penis says, that guy's a dick.
Patience, of course, is a very powerful weapon, but sometimes I start to regret that it is not a firearm.
Too much time spent here is a sign of a bad case of Ownaneonvirus.

2000 Neon MTX swap with '02 R/T PCM
1999 neon coupe 2.4 swap

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