Ricers are professional racers who decide to tune their car to the extent of awesomeness shown in The Fast and the Furious, Pimp My Ride and playing Need For Speed Underground. They then "SOUP UP" or "PIMP" their "RIDES".
This has no relation to making soup which probably tastes nicer than ricers but there might be a connection between SOUP BOXES and the material they use for making body-kits.
Contents
1 Ricers In General
2 Common Cars Used By Ricers
3 Common "MODIFICATIONS" Used By Ricers
4 Ricer Behaviour
5 Where They Meet
5.1 Ricer Talk
6 Other Quotes From Ricers
7 Moral of the Story
7.1 How Ricers Spread
Ricers In General
Ricers have many different tastes but in general they operate by the following philosophy:
NEONS, BODY-KITS, FART CANS AND CHROME MAKE THE CAR FASTER, AND WILL HELP US GET LAID
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Ricers have a tendency to know more than car enthusiasts with information, because they learned everything on the streets, yo. Ricers know for a fact that no matter what you car is, you can win if your car LOOKS awesomer. They are fine tuners of the motor racing world, perhaps artists of tuning if you may, as they modify their cars by themselves and know that professional advice or help is wrong since they didn't need that in the fact-based reality show "The Fast And The Furious".
They have a strong desire to spend hundreds upon thousands of dollars on body-kits, televisions and wings(spoilers) to their cars. Yet they will try to dismantle and destroy the rear seats, side panels etc and say it's to reduce weight.
Common Cars Used By Ricers
Depending on the "RICE FACTOR" they use different cars. The rice factor is a way of rating how RICE(i.e. Awesome) that person may be out of 100. The higher the number, the more rice the person is for buying that car. (note: the car is not rated just the person who riced it out.)
Toyota Corolla (19xx-1999) - 86-101
Honda Accord (any year) - 90-100
Honda Civic (any year) - 90-100
Toyota Camry (Any year) - 40-45
Nissan Skyline R32-R34 (non 4WD versions) - 100-100^100
Honda CRX (any year) - 80-85
Peugot 906 - 60-70
Citroen Saxo - 100-110
Nissan 240SX (1989-1998) - 90-95
Nissan Gazelle(EXA) - (beyond figures)
Vauxhall Novas (80-99) - 30 ( 50 if a Chav )
Hyundai Tiburon (~infinite~)
Any Honda in general (70-90)
Common "MODIFICATIONS" Used By Ricers
What ricers are doing when they put their "mods" on.A 20' spoiler, this could possibly be the most useful modification on a rice rocket, as it provides lift to have the car fly their way to the finish line. Combined with a big enough pair of fart pipes (see below), they can obtain enough propulsion to break free of the sound barrier.
Body-kits that take up two lanes on a freeway
Neon lights
Neon lights under the car
So much chrome it can blind the blind
Toyota Altezza-style clear tail-lights
Faulty wiring on sound systems
Suspension springs cut to have a lowered look (note: lowering the car PROPERLY does help in a way of stability, but by no means should anyone cut springs for it is utter stupidity to do so)
Putting High Grip and thick rubber tyres on the rear wheels even though the car is a Front Wheel Drive.
Having a rear wing(spoiler) on a front wheel drive
A flat screen TV near subwoofers
A TV instead of rear reg. plates
Flat Screen Televisions on the back of the front seats, even though they have removed the back seats
Enormous XZZZOOORRRZZZZZTZZZ (a.k.a. FART PIPE) that are just noise machines that aren't actually connected to the exhaust system
Dinosauric-in-size tachometers with massive shift lights on the dash of cars with automatic transmissions. The light comes on around redline (a.k.a. max power), indicating the proper powerband into which to dump the transmission into 'D'
Boost gauge attached to the A-pillar with double sided tape, with the vac lines hooked up to nothing because there is no turbo...yet
NAWZ bottles that aren't connected to the actual engine
Black painted panels that they say is carbon fibre, though clearly they aren't
Great paint jobs with intrinsic coloring blends... Such as blue and bright orange.
Stickers and decals depicting brands and devices in no way related to the car (i.e. Nismo stickers on a Mitsubishi, VTEC stickers/badges on clearly non-VTEC car)
Spoilers that are shaped in such a way that they don't produce any down-force so are just there for "looks"
Spending 5 times the value of the base car on speakers
Ricer Behaviour
Most ricers do these activities when they get together. (Note: they have a phobia of corners and anything helm-related.)
Spilling oil, petrol on the ground and doing burnouts. (waste of rubber and oil that is already scarce in this earth of ours.)
Accelerating on any piece of straight road but not actually gaining much speed.
Drifting by pulling the hand-brake in a Civic.
Telling their mothers to buy them Civics so they can be in.
Talking to their girlfriends (What girlfriends?) and friends like they know something about cars.
Show up to a drag racing meet and talk like they are regulars.
Arrogant revving at stop lights to try intimidate near by drivers.
Showing off their large exhaust pipes by putting the car into neutral while accelerating. (note: most people call their exhausts FART CANS for they sound like a fart machine and seem like the engine is choking on something..most likely a poor attempt at installing a pod filter thinking it will add 50 horsepower.)
Talking about their slotted disc brakes and how good the braking is....even though the slots don't really do anything but help the wear on the brakes destroy the brake setup.
Complementing the paint job on brake calipers, "yo that painted rust looks TIGHT."
They point out their low profile tyres like it has a lot of grip.
They avoid hills and speed-bumps because they have lowered their car to such an insane degree that they can't go up them.
When talking about cars, they use very vague and general terms to try and hide the fact that they hold the secret to all the car world. For example, when talking about what's "under the cars hood" they will describe it by saying how many "G's" it cost, because they really don't want everyone to have that awesome knowledge.
General poser behaviour.
Where They Meet
They meet at gas stations and cinema car parks, most likely because they feel the need to act like street racers after watching Pimp My Ride, The Fast And The Furious or some sort of show that tells them to do so.
At these meetings they do what a lot of ricers do, talk about their cars like the body-kit on that Corolla DX just gave that guy a 30 horsepower boost.
Here are some examples on ricer talk:
Ricer Talk
Example A
At some car park
Ricer 1 - "Look at those chromes bro."
Ricer 2 - "I bet those are light weight"
Ricer 1 - "Must be, chromes are the lightest thing on the freakin market!"
Example B
Another Car park
Ricer 3 - "Just by looking at that wing, I'm sure he has at least 10 freakin grand under that hood."
Ricer 4 - "He also has a NOS AND an NX sticker, he must have two seperate systems!"
Ricer 3 and 4 - "WHOOOAAAA...."
Example C
At yet another location
Ricer 5 - "My civic is the fastest thing around this neighborhood."
Ricer 6 - "2 Gs says I can beat you to the police station."
Ricer 5 - "What makes you say that?"
Ricer 6 - "I converted my B16 engine in my civic to a rota! (rotary is the proper term but ricers are too stupid to even tell differences between different types of rotary engines, so I shouldn't even be bothering to explain)
Ricer 5 - "OMG! STFU ARE YOU KIDDING?"
Real Car Enthusiast - "What type of rotary?"
Ricer 6 - "You know, ROTA! Jeez don't you know anything about cars?"
Example D
At A Gas Station
Ricer 7 - Check my new intercooler!
Ricer 8 - Whoa coolz!
Real Car Enthusiast - Where the hell's the turbo?
Ricer 7 - You don't need to have a turbo to have an intercooler! What a freakin dumbass...
Example E
At a race circuit
A ricer just lost against a real car enthusiast:
Ricer 9 - You only beat me cauze yooo have freakin turbo!
Real Car Enthusiast - My car is Naturally Aspirated....
Ricer 9 - That's what they all say. (have no idea what that guy just said.)
Example F
In a living room
Ricer 10 - oh bro, check out da chromes, Chingy styles!
Ricer 11 - yea, damn straight, they added a forced induction kit to the 240 SuX
Ricer 10 - yea...(blanking out confused)
Ricer 11 - thats when dey chuck induction by force, into the VTEC DOHC twin B13 rota
Ricer 10 - eh? i betta get me some of dat shiet
Both leave room, putting down Classical Cars magazine
Example G
A Ricer is showing his car to a Real Car Enthusiast
Ricer 12 - Yo man! Check out my ride! It's got every single freakin mod you can think of on it!
Real Car Enthusiast - Oh really...?
Ricer 12 - Yo! If da modz been made it's on my freakin ride foo!
Real Car Enthusiast - Hmmm. Yes... Tell me, does it have a DMX 120 Interlooper on it?
Ricer 12 - Errr... No I don't have one of those yet, but I'm thinking 'bout it yo!
Real Car Enthusiast - I just made that up you moron.
Other Quotes From Ricers
“Man who da fuck cares if I coulda buyed a Bugatti Veyron wit da green I spendin on my Civic, damn dis THANG is freakin tight, bro!”
~ A ricer on the fact that he could have bought a Bugatti Veyron (or $1,500,000 worth of other cars) with the money he has spent on his car
“Man dose damn piece a shit Italian cars Pagani or whatever da fuck, dey ain't worth freakin shit bro!”
~ A ricer on cars that anyone with an IQ over 10 wants
“Where da fuck are da body kits? Bro dese games freakin suck, man”
~ A ricer on the Project Gotham Racing series
“Ten out a ten, man, freakin awesome!”
~ A ricer on the Fast and the Furious
“Yooo Boi, mai whip got da phat ass VTEC yo! Dont be hatin yo! I whip yo ass with my AEM intake and fuggin chrome Exhaust tip beyotch...”
~ Oscar Wilde on On his own car
Notice words such as "bro", "man", "freakin", "wit", "thang", "green" and "da". This is because every single ricer is a wigger. And guess what-they suck at acting like black people, which is no surprise as be because ricers can't accomplish anything they attempt.
Moral of the Story
Well you should have figured out by now that ricers suck - they waste gas, rubber and other products that could have been used by some hobo or given to a recycling center. Yes, ricers are arrogant, idiotic fools that Mr. T would not bother to pity.
Although you should pity their cars for those cars could have had a better purpose in everyday use or modified by proper car enthusiasts and not look so shitty.
If you are 17, and you find yourself in a Civic, remember that it is an A-B car. If you want a fast car, wait a few years and get a proper one - don't waste your money on a Civic.
How Ricers Spread
You should also note to yourself that ricers have since been brainwashed by Fast N The Furious and games like NFS Underground, as well as Midnight Club 3 DUB Edition.
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Ricer"[/url]
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bravo buddy. bravo
