Life changing Vacation?

ChrisRT · Post by **ChrisRT** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:01 am

or, I'm taking a long trip to Minnesota and spending some time on a 100 acre farm.

The girl that I was dating, and talked about on here a while ago, has pretty much completely shredded what I thought of her, and in the same instance, has made me feel completely nuts.

We broke up a while back because we were fighting A LOT! We talked things out a little and were going to work on things. Fast forward to a few weeks ago:

My friend Cheryl(also an ex-girlfriend, but much much more of a friend, I.E. no attraction at all) is moving to Hawaii and having a going away party. I went to the party, had to much to drink, and fell asleep on the couch at her mom's house around 1am. During this time, Shawn(the now Ex) called me 5, yes 5 times between 10pm-12am. I didn't answer because (A) I was drunk, (B) because I was at someones party and don't normally answer my phone, and (C) because Cheryl doesn't like Shawn for the bullshit thats happened over the past year.

Shawn decides I've done something terribly wrong because I didn't answer my phone and I spent hte night at Cheryl's. I explain to her that Cheryl has a boyfriend, we're only friends, and that if she doesn't believe me, she can call Cheryl and I'll let her explain it. That wasn't good enough, Shawn texted me the next day, and told me not to call her until I thought I was wrong, and I didn't. An entire week went by, and no contact.

Shawn called me the following monday(8 days later), and said we need to talk. I agreed and we met for dinner. When we met, she was PISSED that I didn't call her. I again explained that I didn't do anything wrong, and that I had to much to drink and spent the night. That wasn't good enough for her, so she said "we need to take a break for a while". Fine by me, you need to calm down, and then we'll talk.

Well, we spent my birthday together, and some "things" happened. During that time she said "you know, this doesn't mean anything, right?" To which I responded "sure". I asked her the next morning what she meant, and she said she said that because she had to much to drink, etc etc.

A couple days later, she confesses that she doesn't want to date me anymore, and just wants to be friends. I tell her thats impossible because of what happened on my birthday, and because there is still an attraction between us. She gets upset, I give in, we try to be friends. It blew up in our faces. We hung out, friday-saturday-sunday of this weekend, friday was ok for the most part. Saturday was pretty much wonderful and I thought maybe she was starting to reconsider things because she said she had a great time with me, and was happy we were hanging out and.. *ahem*. Sunday she came with me to my family reunion and had a great time, and introduced herself as my "girlfriend". I thought that was odd, and just played things by ear. The rest of the day, as several family members notice, she was all over me, holding my hand, kissing me, etc, and they thought it was odd considering she "didn't want to date me anymore.".

Later that night, we had another talk, and again she said she had a wonderful time, but that she just wants to be friends, and was sorry about Saturday night. I explain to her thats not going to happen, she cries, and I got pissed. I demanded to get my shit back, and that would be the last she heard from me.

We met monday, my mom went with me, because my mom and dad love this girl and my mom wanted to say good bye. They said good bye, and her and my mom talked. Shawn said to me, just before she handed me my stuff, "this isn't goodbye you know?", i responded with, "ok, than what is it?" She didn't respond, instead, she started crying, handed me my stuff and asked me if i had anything to say.

I got upset, and explained to her what I let down I felt like I was to her mother, because I'm really the only person she knows here, I told her to take care of herself, and that if she ever felt like working things out, she knew my phone number. I put my stuff in my car, and she really started to cry, I hugged her, and she hugged me back, kissing me several times on my cheek and neck, and saying she was sorry things were turning out the way they were. I said "whatever, its your choice Shawn, only you can chose what you want." and got in my car and left. My mom was crying, she was crying, and I had a little tear to, but i know I have to do this, right? Being friends just isn't in the cards, right?

Anyway, she maintains I'm still her best friend, and that we'll talk again some day. I have no plans of that happening. However, i do plan on taking a vacation to my aunt and uncles 100 acre farm in Minnesota. Its quiet, its peaceful, and its 90 minutes from Canada. its 75*s there the 1st week of august which is perfect for me. I think I'm going to go, just as a get-away-from-everything type of vacation. Sound like a good idea to ya'll?

danielc24 · Post by **danielc24** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:27 am

It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants, if it was meant to be it WILL be you know? I say go and have fun and dont let this get to you because there are plenty of women out there that do know what they want...

Mr Josh Zombie · Post by **Mr Josh Zombie** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:51 am

Sounds like a fun vacation.

Defenally a great idea. It's the perfect time to get your head cleared.

kornholio788 · Post by **kornholio788** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:05 pm

ya def. It sounds like a good while that you can just relax and not have to worry about anything. It will probably be good for ya. Have fun dude

hansken_yo · Post by **hansken_yo** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:59 pm

Getting away sounds GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck yo.

heyitsstock · Post by **heyitsstock** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:08 pm

mmm i didnt read the whole thing but if ur not happy in the relationship peace out, there is no need for random stupid bullshit that continues everyday....

go on a vaca but go some where were girls are dime a dozen.... i would feel if u went somewhere to think u ould think about her and if u love her no matter what ull just think about the good times and forget the bad subconsiously......the best way to get over a relationship is to just find randoms here and there....for me at least .... i mean i was pist for a good while then another exgf of mine introduced me to my current gf and i have never been happier

OB · Post by OB » Wed Jul 18, 2007 2:11 pm

dang females. I can relate though, that sounds like pretty much any relationship where the people have different interests. It messes with your head after things go back and fourth so much. IMHO, its always best to be single rather than play games. There's no hurry to get back together; take care of your life and your self first, then think about whats the next best step to take. Enjoy your vacation that sounds like a blast.

MyNeonSaysHi · Post by **MyNeonSaysHi** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:11 pm

I didn't answer my phone and I spent hte night at Cheryl's. I explain to her that Cheryl has a boyfriend, we're only friends, and that if she doesn't believe me, she can call Cheryl and I'll let her explain it. That wasn't good enough, Shawn texted me the next day, and told me not to call her until I thought I was wrong, and I didn't. An entire week went by, and no contact.

When trust is gone there is nothing period.

I am happy you didn't give into her stupid games.

Sunday she came with me to my family reunion and had a great time, and introduced herself as my "girlfriend".

Games Games Games, she's trying to get in your head and make YOU feel bad sp she can do this....

Later that night, we had another talk, and again she said she had a wonderful time, but that she just wants to be friends, and was sorry about Saturday night.

See...
They love to bring you you up ... and then pull you down. Very very awful thing for someone to play smurf like that on someone.

said "whatever, its your choice Shawn, only you can chose what you want." and got in my car and left.

Best thing you could of said. Well done.

when there is a bunch of fights going on and a bunch disagreements that seem to always be happening from both people being stubborn, stop the relationship right there in its tracks, it will not work out.

Take that vacation and enjoy yourself, and don't let a girl with a boys name get to yah. By what you said about her, in my book she is nuts and has no idea what she wants.

Time to move on.

Post by **Canada** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 5:12 pm

Wow. Sounds shibby. I say enjoy your vacation and just sit back and relax.

If you come to Toronto, send me a PM and we can hang out!

Bella Lugrossi · Post by **Bella Lugrossi** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 7:15 pm

get out man! while you can. seriously.

ChrisRT · Post by **ChrisRT** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:57 pm

I plan on just getting away for a while...anyway, heres the last picture we took together, Friday night after dinner....

silentneon01 · Post by **silentneon01** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:27 pm

Long ass post didn't read all of it but I will say this.

Every girl you date turns into a nut job. I've known you now 6 years. This happens every time you break up with a chick.

Buy a house, work the cars and drink beer. Enjoy life man.

MyNeonSaysHi · Post by **MyNeonSaysHi** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:42 pm

She looks like a wench. Turn that frown upside down. Bros before Ho's dude...Bros......before....Hoes! Yay!

ChrisRT · Post by **ChrisRT** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:03 am

silentneon01 wrote:Long ass post didn't read all of it but I will say this.

Every girl you date turns into a nut job. I've known you now 6 years. This happens every time you break up with a chick.

Buy a house, work the cars and drink beer. Enjoy life man.

Maybe I'm the one turning them into a nutjob?

KrackstaR · Post by **KrackstaR** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 10:02 am

ChrisRT wrote:
silentneon01 wrote:Long ass post didn't read all of it but I will say this.

Every girl you date turns into a nut job. I've known you now 6 years. This happens every time you break up with a chick.

Buy a house, work the cars and drink beer. Enjoy life man.
Maybe I'm the one turning them into a nutjob?

I used to think the same thing but seriously chicks are born nutt jobs, all of them, thats why they used to burn them back in the day and call them witches....

enjoy your vaction you deserve it..

Post by **Diablo0** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 10:27 am

Take the vacation... enjoy it, don't look bad... just move on... sounds like it's for the best. She's a nut... kinda been there so yah, it'll drive you crazy and it's just not worth it.

ChrisRT · Post by **ChrisRT** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 10:40 am

450 bucks roundtrip....not bad.

Renting a car is fricken expensive though! Jesus Christ! 466 dollars for a week!

hansken_yo · Post by **hansken_yo** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 11:17 am

dive there man!! its a vacation!

Cbussilver01es · Post by **Cbussilver01es** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 4:24 pm

KrackstaR wrote:I used to think the same thing but seriously chicks are born nutt jobs, all of them, thats why they used to burn them back in the day and call them witches....

I think thats one of the funniest things Ive ever heard.
But I agree, girls can be overrated... either they dont know what they want or the do know what they want and like to play games... its not worth the drama. Ladies today are shallow, and only want your money or somethin else and could care less about your feelings, because the are convinced that all guys are asses. My mom called me cynical yesterday and I have every reason to be... But I say take the vacation, it'll be good for you, seriously

Wenuden · Post by **Wenuden** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 4:34 pm

make sure to break it off deep in some farmers daughters. and no rubbers, you'll never see'em again.

And if that ring on her left ring finger came from you, make her take it off. don't ask for it back like a broke chump, just make her take it off. break her finger between the knuckle and the first joint of you have to, just make her stop wearing it. she sounds like a mind-fucker

Bella Lugrossi · Post by **Bella Lugrossi** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:43 pm

wow, you smack you head playing chicken?

KrackstaR · Post by **KrackstaR** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:46 pm

^ just a lil

ChrisRT · Post by **ChrisRT** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 2:23 pm

LOL

She called me last night. She's upset. She's waned to call me every night this week since Monday. She wants to work things out now. She knows I'm the one that she wants to spend her time with.

I was at the bar, I told her I'd call her back later. I did, drunk. We talked for a while. I informed her I'm going on vacation, she told me that was fine, and to take as much time as I needed and that she's sorry she put me through everything that she did.

My response:

I need another beer.

INVUJerry · Post by **INVUJerry** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 4:08 pm

Don't do it!

grambo · Post by **grambo** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 4:46 pm

Uh...balls in your court now dude. Enjoy Minnesota and let things settle down. Sometimes this stuff is "passions and emotions" in the relationship. Sometimes its nutty bullshit.
If she is all over you when you get home, roll with it cautiously.

I dont think my wife and I had a real situation like that for the first four years we were together. If we were arguing and stuff after such a short time...my son would not exist.

MyNeonSaysHi · Post by **MyNeonSaysHi** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 4:49 pm

Grambo's advice FTW!

ChrisRT · Post by **ChrisRT** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:54 pm

Quite honestly, I'm not sure what to do.

She sent me the following text message:

I'm glad we're trying, I've missed you. And don't think this date means anything, really. I'm being honest with you. I wouldn't have called you if it did.

I sent one back that said:

Ok. Have fun.

August 2 can't get here fast enough. Part of me wants to tell her to bugger off, another part of me wants to work things out with her, and another part just says to bang her till I find someone new and less crazy.

Pictures like this is what makes things tough:

No, I'm not a Yankees fan, I was just blending in with the NYC crowd...

Post by **Diablo0** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 10:27 pm

Ugh, I wouldn't do it... she doesn't know what she wants and sounds too wishy washy going back and forth wanting to break it off then want to get back together, off, on, off, on... if she's like that now it'd make me worry whats even farther down the road.

Chibits12 · Post by **Chibits12** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 11:49 pm

Try to make the most out of the vacation, it'll definitely be worth it.

By the time it's over, you'll feel a whole much better, whatever decision you may make.

Bella Lugrossi · Post by **Bella Lugrossi** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 11:51 pm

in the famous words of Iron Maiden. "Run for the hills!!"