A Monday funny.

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:03 am

"Don't fart in bed"

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Xmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had Got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, 'Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.'
'What do you mean?' asked his wife. 'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
'But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.'

Kelevra · Post by **Kelevra** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:53 pm

The first time I heard that I fell off my dinosaur

OB · Post by OB » Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:25 pm

It was funny until the last sentence. That's plain sick.

JeffM · Post by **JeffM** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:34 pm

lilnicko11 · Post by **lilnicko11** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:51 pm

ewwwww

smiley · Post by **smiley** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:56 pm

thats hilarious man, wow lol

hansken_yo · Post by **hansken_yo** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:13 pm

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 5:40 pm

I thought we could start the work week off with a laugh

I need one because I am stressing out big time over my car and truck..

esfan · Post by **esfan** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 7:21 pm

Pocahontas · Post by **Pocahontas** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:18 am

Haganracing wrote:I thought we could start the work week off with a laugh

I need one because I am stressing out big time over my car and truck..

Still works for a Tuesday too

And I'm sorry about your motor vehicles

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:51 am

Haha yeah, still works for a tuesday.

Thanks, i hope to get them figured out soon.. just sucks I kind of need it now

jetas · Post by **jetas** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:51 am

Wrong on so many different levels