Semi life changing event

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon May 10, 2010 1:45 am

As some of you know, I am adopted (never knew my birth parents or anything). I have been with my adopted parents for as long as I can remember.. They, to me, are my real parents. I honestly don't think of myself as adopted because of my situation.

Well tonight, I was talking to my girlfriend and my mom and we got onto the topic of my adoption.. Well I turned down the info on my adoption at 18 (my parents have it in a safe).. I turned it down because I told everyone I just really never cared to know (Honest truth is that I wasn't ready to handle all of that).

Well as all of you know, I turned 21 almost 2 weeks ago.. Well tonight when my mom asked me if I really wanted to know, I figured what better time then now.. I feel ready to know more about my parents.

After finding out the information I did (family health history, parents height, weight, and other stuff). I thought that was cool. To this point, I decided it was nice to know and still didn't have any interest in meeting them, mainly because 21 years have gone by.. whats another 21 LOL.

I read the papers where it talks about my birth parents and how it was a hard choice for them to put me up for adoption.. They even thought about abortion but decided against it. They also didn't want me to be in the care of their immediate family (parents, I guess they didn't think that was a good idea). So thats why I was put up for adoption.

After reading those papers, it seemed semi hard to take it all in.. Because I put myself in their shoes and it had to be hard.

Well I did some "googling" on them and found my birth mom's facebook.. Which I believe is her facebook.. Trust me, her name is pretty rare (i wont disclose on here or anything) so I have a strong feeling its her.

The message I wrote was

_______________________________

"Hi, hopefully I have the right person on here.

My name is Chris Hagan. You might know me if this is the (insert name here) that I have just recently found out about.

I was born April, 27th 1989 with the name Christopher (insert middle, last name here).

If you want, feel free to send me a message back, if I got the wrong (insert name here).. Sorry for the inconvenience."

_______________________________

So yeah, this is my little rant.. I never felt this nervous before. It would be way cool if this is her because she got this message from me on mothers day(ish) and hopefully she writes me back and feels the same way I am feeling.

Sorry for ranting, I just feel I can turn to a lot of you guys about all of this.

OB · Post by OB » Mon May 10, 2010 1:49 am

Wow Chris that's some serious stuff right there. I can't believe you had the guts to write her! Can't wait to hear what she has to say, this is like what happens in movies. You know we got your back here on 2gn though, no doubt.

stdlystdmufn · Post by **stdlystdmufn** » Mon May 10, 2010 1:52 am

wow man that's a pretty big move, i like it! takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there and i hope she answers back. ( i have a couple friends that haven't been lucky enough to find their birth parents yet)

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon May 10, 2010 2:01 am

Yeah, I figured what better time then now?

I mean if I don't hear back, its not the end of the world. Nothing in my life will change and I am 100% happy with how my life is now.

If she writes back and wants to talk, I know there will be so many questions I would want to ask.. I am also pretty sure there would be a ton of questions she would want to ask too.

I just know that my dad was 20, she was 22 and they ended up getting married when they had me. She still has the fathers last name (according to facebook), so I assume they are together still (which would be cool).

I will keep you guys updated on all of this.. I don't know if I get any sleep tonight LOL

contagious18 · Post by **contagious18** » Mon May 10, 2010 2:46 am

Wow chris that's crazy. Hopefully she writes you back.

Ntyvirus1 · Post by **Ntyvirus1** » Mon May 10, 2010 9:22 am

goodluck man.

esfan · Post by **esfan** » Mon May 10, 2010 10:54 am

This is really something seriously. Best wishes for you.

neonpla · Post by **neonpla** » Mon May 10, 2010 11:38 am

good luck man

NeonOn19s · Post by **NeonOn19s** » Mon May 10, 2010 12:38 pm

Good Luck man.

hansken_yo · Post by **hansken_yo** » Mon May 10, 2010 1:12 pm

Glad to hear you are taking this in stride and I wish you the best regardless of how things go yo.

biggrobb1995 · Post by **biggrobb1995** » Mon May 10, 2010 3:09 pm

Wow dude. Good luck. I hope it turns out the way you want it too. I'm in kind of a similar situation.

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon May 10, 2010 3:19 pm

Well I got my reply back.

She said she always wondered if this day would ever happen (where I would get in contact with her)

She seems really cool, she did tell me that she hasn't seen my birth father in over 20 years.. I guess they split up or something, I didn't want to ask and go into detail.

But yeah, she told a bit about herself and I told her about me.

It really got a lot easier to message her after the first few messages got sent.

It really seems weird, I am now talking to the person who gave birth to me.. 21 years after. Its really crazy!

I will say though, if anyone else on here is adopted and thinking about contacting you're birth parents.. I think its a great thing. This for me, has answered a lot of questions I had in the back of my mind. I feel as if I am opening up a whole new chapter in my life that I skipped over in the beginning.

She told me that I look just like my father in the face. Sucks hes not with her anymore, I have a feeling that I wont get to talk/meet him. But its all good.

Thanks again for listening, you guys are the best

Danteneon · Post by **Danteneon** » Mon May 10, 2010 3:34 pm

Good to hear that the "meet" went well. Even if nothing more really comes of this, at least that part of you that wondered about your birth parents has been satified. Kudos for your courage

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon May 10, 2010 3:39 pm

Thanks man, I think I will really meet her one day. I think it would be pretty cool.

Hopefully she feels the same way.

Chris04sxt · Post by **Chris04sxt** » Mon May 10, 2010 3:46 pm

Haganracing wrote:Thanks man, I think I will really meet her one day. I think it would be pretty cool.

Hopefully she feels the same way.

That's awesome man, congrats! I had a kinda similar situation 6 years ago. I wasn't adopted but my dad was forcefully asked to leave town by his family after I was born. I finally got in touch with him and we go visit him in Florida every year. It almost seems like we were never apart. I don't think you'll regret it if you do meet her.

heydockyle · Post by **heydockyle** » Mon May 10, 2010 4:10 pm

Dam dude. I didn't know this. Congrats on getting to talk to your Mom. I'm sure she woke up everyday wondering when she'd get to talk to you.

I couldn't imagine having to make the decision to give my child up for adoption (Even though I don't have any) But I'm sure it made her day knowing she did the right thing, and you turned out, well... Okay I guess

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon May 10, 2010 4:20 pm

Haha thanks guys.

Thats my main reason for getting into contact with her.. Just because i figured she would be wondering about me.. I feel better now that I did it.

Mr Josh Zombie · Post by **Mr Josh Zombie** » Mon May 10, 2010 4:43 pm

I think you did the perfect thing for her. I can only imagine how far her heart sunk when she read your message.

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon May 10, 2010 4:53 pm

Yeah, like i said before.. That was what really made my final decision to message her.

Even after a few messages she replied

I'm still "tripping" over this message...for the record..you look like your dad, I haven't seen him in years, but the face...yeah, it's him. You're on you way "off work"....I'm on my way "to work". Unfortunately...I can't reply till after work...this sucks, lol

I know this whole thing made my day and answered a lot of questions as well.. So i hope it did the same for her.

heydockyle · Post by **heydockyle** » Mon May 10, 2010 5:02 pm

Oh knoes. She said trippin.

Post by **racer12306** » Mon May 10, 2010 5:30 pm

You are definitely a lucky one. There are some adoptions where the children live their entire lives without knowing who their birth parents are because the birth parents choose to never be a part of the kids life.

The fact that you had all the information meant there was a chance of a reunion.

Pocahontas · Post by **Pocahontas** » Mon May 10, 2010 8:06 pm

That's intense Chris! You have huge cojones for contacting her and I'm super glad it turned out the way it did.

And who would've thought that Facebook would be our modern day Opera?

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon May 10, 2010 8:14 pm

Haha yeah, i didn't know facebook would be so helpful

Post by **Canada** » Mon May 10, 2010 9:11 pm

Normally I am a believer that Fb ruins lives, but in your case, it improved two of them.

Nice job Chris, that takes balls man.

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon May 10, 2010 9:16 pm

Thanks Chris!

teamliviD · Post by **teamliviD** » Mon May 10, 2010 11:25 pm

Wow man I'm very happy for you. I'm glad it was easy for you to find her.

I'm kinda in the same situation as you...kinda. I have an older brother that I have never met. He was put up for adoption right after he was born. My family, more so my parents, never talk about him. All I know is that he was born in February 1978. I would love to find him but I just don't know where to start. I wonder if he has ever thought of looking for us. My mom just starts crying every time I've brought it up.

Again, I'm so happy that you found your birth mother. I wish you the very best.

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon May 10, 2010 11:43 pm

Thanks Joe

Your parents should have some sort of paperwork on your older brother.

The only thing that might be in your way is searching for his name.. Because they could have changed his first name and his last name will be different (obviously lol)

But how you feel about him, and wanting to meet him.. I bet he comes across those same thoughts often.

ZeroChad · Post by **ZeroChad** » Mon May 10, 2010 11:47 pm

Awesome man! It might be beneficial to ask if there are any sorts of hereditary 'conditions' that run in your genes. Its always good to have a headsup about that kinda stuff.

Haganracing · Post by **Haganracing** » Mon May 10, 2010 11:54 pm

Yeah thats a good idea. In the packet of paperwork they have a list of health conditions and checked if its in the family history.

Everything looks pretty good, they said my mom had/has epilepsy.. I'm pretty sure I don't since I have been around flashing lights without a problem.

The grandma had cancer, but thats about it for health conditions.

Oh, I am going bald... so someone in the family screwed me over with male pattern baldness

contagious18 · Post by **contagious18** » Tue May 11, 2010 1:28 am

congrats chris, im glad you got the answers you were seeking.